Let Them Fail
Let Them Break the Eggs
We don’t have a resilience problem.
We have a practice problem.
Kids aren’t getting enough chances to try, mess up, and figure things out.
I’m not talking about setting kids up to fail.
I’m talking about letting them try without stepping in too quickly.
Because that moment—the one where something doesn’t go to plan—is where the learning actually happens.
The instinct to help is strong.
You see the egg about to crack the wrong way.
The flour spilling over the counter.
The recipe going slightly off track.
But every time we step in too early, we take away the exact moment where the learning would have happened.
When we bake together, I try (not always successfully) to pause.
To let it unfold.
To let the mistake happen.
Not in a big, dramatic way—just small moments.
We keep it small—one egg, a small batch—so the stakes are low but the learning is real.
Because what looks like a mistake is actually something else entirely.
It’s a child:
figuring out what went wrong
deciding what to do next
managing the frustration of it not working
And everything in you wants to step in and fix it.
You hand them the egg.
They hold it a little too tightly.
You can already see where this is going.
This is executive function in real time.
Planning.
Problem-solving.
Emotional regulation.
When your child gets frustrated because something didn’t work, that’s not defiance.
It’s a skill that’s still developing.
I’m figuring this out in real time with my 3-year-old.
Some days I jump in too quickly.
Some days I let it go longer than I should.
But the shift is in noticing the moment—and giving it just a little more space.
It looks like baking.
It’s actually learning how to think.